my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
