Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
