Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
