I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
