i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
