I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize