how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
