I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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