youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
