I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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