Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
