4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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