Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
