Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
