so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you win again, gameday.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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