i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize