Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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