the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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