My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
