you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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