My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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