okay pat passed out under dana's car
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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