Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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