I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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