you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
