Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
