TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
