I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
