New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Randomize
