What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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