Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Banned from zoo.
Again?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
