Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
