First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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