Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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