margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
