To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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