and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
