i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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