my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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