Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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