its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
