for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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