So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
