He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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