I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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