Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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