1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You made me cry and you don't even care
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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