You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize