Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
