just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
