is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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