Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
