Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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