I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
