I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I think my moral compass just broke
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
