My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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