I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I checked into jail on foursquare
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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