Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize