I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
id be glad to
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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