party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
