This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize