I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
