Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
