He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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