worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
