Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
