since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
